Fours gain draw and win in five days

On: 2010-03-25 09:29:44

The fours defeated Dalkeith under lights at Myreside 36-0 on Wednesday night.

The result followed hot on the heels of their 20-20 draw with Murrayfield Wanderers at the weekend. Below is a match report from that game;

Veteran fly-half James McDougall, pictured, makes his journalistic debut this century as the Dream Team try to replicate last week's Calcutta Cup - drop goal attempts and all.

Twenty twenty vision at Myreside

Coach Neil Ditchwater had to use all his cajoling skills to muster a 4th XV to face Murrayfield Wanderers, a task made all the harder by Euan Lyster's selfish decision to hold a stag weekend in Belfast. Luckily, the ranks were bolstered by several players from the 2s and 3s who were looking for some experience of the big time.

Whilst Wandies went through a rigorous warm up, the Dream Team mostly stood about, conserving energy and chatting about various topics from the 6 Nations to the forthcoming lambing season. The older players threatened to come out in sympathy with BA cabin staff when it became apparent that we were playing on M1, a pitch 8 times the size of the Dream team's usual home patch, M3. Not only that, but the weather was warm, the ground was firm to hard and Murrayfield brought a squad of 46, many of whom had played against the 3s in midweek. (That game will go down in the anals because of an incident involving former Dream Team stalwart, Harry "Dijon " Mustard. Mustard and an opponent exchanged pleasantries. Hands were laid on the offending Wanderers player by an unnamed Watsonian who had come to Harry's aid. To everyone's astonishment, the opponent's girlfriend then came on to the pitch and walloped the bemused Myreside man with her handbag. Surely the first fracas in rugby history to involve both metaphorical and actual handbags.)

Despite the unpromising warm up, the Dream Team took the game to their opponents from the off. This was largely thanks to superb work from the pack (Front row of Falvey, Neale “tight end” McMaster and Keith “My cartilage is in the kitchen drawer” Ogle, second row of Boag and Davey and back row of Robertson, Cursiter and Nicholson). This gave the backs a platform and veteran centre Pip Carmichael brought the wide players Adrian “I don’t have a strong accent” Coyne, Olly Curtis and R “My first name is impossible to spell” Mackay, into play. (Carmichael is 32 years older than Curtis, but a veritable spring chicken compared to Dalkeith’s prop who, at 61, is comfortably old enough to be Olley’s grandfather.)

It was not long before the Wanderers defence was breached. Recently wed, diminutive, scrum half, Kiwi, Baz "man of few words" Lawson spotted a gap on the blind side and sprinted home from 2 feet. Coyne missed the conversion but added a penalty. Wanderers appeared stunned and some ill discipline crept in. This culminated in a curious incident when a Murrayfield forward seemed to kick Lawson square in the gonads. Your correspondent is no expert on the rules but thinks that is a sending off offence. The ref was content to award a penalty but made it clear that any further boots to the bollocks would result in a yellow card at the very least.

Half Time: 10-8

The half time team talk focused on the need to keep the same level of performance up, so it was unfortunate that your correspondent sclaffed the kick off down the throat of the Wandies inside centre. Luckily the pack arrived at the break down with speed rarely, if ever, seen at this level and the ball was turned over. This set the tone and Wandies were kept pegged back in their half for the next 20 minutes. During this period the backs continued to look dangerous, with Kenny “the silver fox” Campbell on for Carmichael and Sonians scored two tries, one of which was converted, to take the score to 20-8.

In the last quarter, Wanderers came back into it and scored a well worked, but unconverted, try.

The dream team went back on the offensive in the last few minutes and the game appeared safe. Hourcastagne took a great high ball and went on a run almost to the line but Cork, post graduate student Rob “ I once played against Keith Earls" Falvey was unable to take the flying Frenchman’s pass. Hourcastagne was soon back in action as he again recovered a clearance kick. This time he shaped as if to go for a drop goal from the 10 metre line and fooled everyone by actually going through with it. Your correspondent would not like to suggest it was a mishit [or should that just be “sh*t”? –Ed] but the Wandies full back eventually collected the ball about a yard from the corner flag (the far corner flag).

Outrageous attempts at drop goals from the 10 metre line in 4th XV matches are like buses – you don’t see one for ages and then...This time, a Wanderers clearance was gathered by the fresh faced speedster Olley Curtis. His connection was sweet but the ball fell just under the bar. Wandies were awarded a penalty for offside, found a good touch and worked their way from there into the 22. Your correspondent was pinged for not rolling away from the tackle which was clearly a wrong decision as it indicates he actually made a tackle. Wandies took a quick tap and fed the ball to the No. 8 who makes Bastaraud look physically underdeveloped [and that’s why the rule-forgetting no. 22 missed the tackle –Ed]. Despite an attempt to make amends from your truly and two efforts from Roberston and Mackay, the 26 stone back rower steamed over the line. The try was converted. The whistle blew. Game over.

Final Score: Watsonians 4th XV 20 Murrayfield Wanderers 3rd XV 20

JM